Category Archives: Kids

Illinois Parental Equality Bill

The Illinois House Legislature is now considering a bill (HB4113) for shared/equal parenting, where both parents are presumed to be equals.  Illinois is sixth largest state in the country.  It’s been getting national press, such as in The Washington Post and NPR.


As unbelievable as it sounds, most current state custody laws still consider one parent (the father) less equal (inferior) compared to the mother. 

Mothers are awarded custodial parent rights and the majority of possession time in almost all child custody cases nationwide, upwards of 85% of the time, according to US Census Bureau. 

Some states have recently changed their laws (Kentucky) to presume parental equality, but the fight continues elsewhere, with 30+ other states with pending legislation.  The group that opposes equality are the family lawyers and its institutions who derive income from inciting parental custody litigation fights and benefit from its destructive financial nature.

It’s estimated family law is a $50B ($50,000,000,000) billion dollar a year business for the lawyers. All that money comes from parents pockets and the children’s financial futures.

Child psychologists nationwide support 50/50 possession equality as being ‘best’ for children. 

The Illinois Fathers for Equality Facebook page has a video of a family psychologist starting at minute 8:00 about this very issue:  

Kids are bonded to both parents …  They don’t like being forced into being put into a position where one parent is considered less equal than the other … it’s a very divisive thing …. lawyers like to ‘opine’ and offer ‘opinions’ about children but they don’t have any evidence.  Why are they the ones we rely upon to offer evidence?  They can’t give us any clinical evidence.  There are hundreds of clinical research papers showing 50/50 equality is best for children. ” – Dr. Jim Bedell, clinical psychologist

We all have a vested interest in supporting shared parenting equality: ALL parents, grandparents, extended family, siblings, friends, spouses and supporters with common goals in mind. Those goals benefit our children and ultimately our society as a whole.

Family Law Equality Reform in 20 States

The Washington Post published an article stating “more than 20 states in 2017 considered laws to promote shared equal (50/50) custody of children after divorce.”

Some states, Kentucky, for instance, already have passed 50/50 shared parenting laws as the presumption, which is a giant leap forward to parental equality. 

This issue is, unfortunately, hard to grasp until you’re subjected to it as a parent.  

One learns quickly fathers (men) are almost always subjected to being the non-custodial parent (NCP) 90% of the time, according the last US Census Report, so there is a gender bias. 

Fathers are, generally, considered to be “inferior” to mothers and not worthy of being the custodial parent (CP).

Family lawyers will bill parents into poverty (or even bankruptcy) fighting for your rights, with little regard for how that financial cost itself negatively impacts the children’s financial futures.  Kids don’t earn incomes.

The courts don’t care either: the average custody case can cost upwards of $50,00 dollars (per parent) in legal fees, with some going even higher.  It all comes out of the kids’ pockets, one way or another, either now or later.  

The system makes parents fight to be named the CP, because the CP gets all the financial breaks and the majority of possession time, whereas the NCP gets shafted. 

kidsThe family law system is built upon inequity.

Every prominent child psychologist says shared (equal  50/50) parenting is in the best interest of the child.  

Illinois currently has a shared parenting bill and it looks like it may pass.


Take Kids on Vacay

Miles Luke holding Rock edited

USA Today published an article on benefits of taking kids on vacation.

Having done a couple trips with kids, it sure ain’t easy at first but once you figure out what works – and what doesn’t – it’s a fun experience discovering new places together.

For me, the hardest part was finding the right activity/experience that both kids and adults can enjoy at the same time.  It’s harder than it sounds.  

Bringing along an iPad for kids to entertain themselves on road trips to and from – just like at home – certainly helps, too.

Equality for All Parents

Good news for parents that believe in equality in parenting.  

The State of Michigan House just passed a bill requiring “joint legal custody” except in cases of concern.  Michigan is now joining a growing list of other states (Iowa, Kentucky,  Missouri, South Dakota, Arkansas) that have started the process of changing their laws, each with variation, to reflect the new reality of shared parenting.   The fact this issue is now entering public discussion nationwide is a positive step forward for kids.

Parenting has changed dramatically over the past 40 years — both parents want equal access to their children.  Reform is needed to remove discretion from judges in child custody cases, said state Rep. Jim Runestad, who sponsored the legislation, also wrote this article.

“We have study after study of the benefits of shared parenting. It’s a tremendous benefit for the children.”

Read the entire article here on Detroit Free Press.