I’ve been off social media for awhile. I haven’t posted anything here on my blog either. It’s been a rough year, to say the least. In tough times, I usually withdraw into my cave. I usually don’t want to interact with people much.
Losing my mom last September, and my dad just one year before, took a toll on me in many ways. I still have not had real quality time grieve for my parents as I had concurrent troubles ongoing. 2023 kicked my ass, that’s for sure.
Along with all the economic problems like insane inflation making everything cost twice as much, I had a water pipe break in my house last year, leading to a total fiasco of my house restoration, legal fights with the insurance company (Progressive / American Home Family) and the difficult process of restoring my house with contractors. It was a nightmare.
I had to hire a public adjustor to fight the insurance company. I didn’t even know “public adjustors” even existed? They’re like adjustors that work for you and not the insurance company. I got all the money in the very end, but it was very difficult and time consuming.
I finally got back into my house back by December, nearly nine months later. I had to live a rental house for nearly all of 2023, which made everything worse. I didn’t have a proper office to study and focus the entire year.
While I’m happy with having my house restored into better condition than before with modern updates, I have a hard time appreciating it much because the insurance company made it so damn difficult. I hope that company burns in hell.
I also had a scare of skin cancer spots developing on my scalp during last summer. It was all eventually removed and, I think, I’m ok but that was very concerning, too. I was told by dermatologist it’s a sudden thing that happens to people in their 50s. It was likely caused by sunburn decades ago on my scalp. Who knew?
And, if that wasn’t enough for a lifetime, while all this was happening, I was also tied up in child custody litigation (second time) filed by the mother over my two kids. Family custody lawsuits are nearly always initiated by the mothers, like 90% of all cases, as they know they get bias advantage in family law courts – so much for gender equality. Family law courts are horrific nightmares – the legal costs and lack of due process.
It’s hard to believe America allows such a corrupt, anti-father kangaroo court system like that to even exist. It operates in no way like a regular court. It’s like if the Three Stooges ran a court room.
“Truth is stranger than fiction, judgy wudgy.” – Curly
I personally believe many of our social ills are born out of so-called “family law” courts – more like family destruction courts, where lawyers and judges prey on tragedies of divorce and parents under the threat of losing access to their children. It’s sick. It’s not just me who thinks that either. Here’s a book written by a NYU law school professor called “The End of Family Court” which the author says the same thing.
I’ll have to make a post on all that nightmare later, but suffice to say, if you wanna get freaked out, go to Google news and search for key words like “child custody” and “divorce” with other key words. You’ll be surprised of the amount of horrible tragic events that are traced back to the destruction from family law courts, many of which are preventable by making laws that are more fair and equitable.
A few states have with making child custody laws 50/50 which decreases the conflict. But mostly, nobody cares – so it all continues, just like mass shootings and other uniquely American nightmares born out of cultural and moral decay.
I’ve come the conclusion we should call ourselves the United Corrupt States of America, which would be a more apt description of the “America” as most experience it today. From politics, religion, business, commerce, and court rooms down to interpersonal relationships, everything has become corrupted. It’s all bought and sold by those with money and special interests in power.
There were a few bright moments. I got to produce some music projects with one of favorite bands, The Call. We worked with remaining band members Tom Ferrier (guitar) Jim Goodwin (keyboards, sax), Scott Musick (drums) and Ralph Patlan recording new parts in Sausalito and Phoenix. We found all these unfinished recordings with Michael Been’s vocals in the archives and gave them new life for an album called, The Lost Tapes. It was a great project to produce and a dream come true.
The Call wove Christian mythology into their secular lyrics, same as U2. For fans like me, The Call went hand-in-hand with appreciation for U2 and The Alarm, their two closest musical contemporaries. The Call was the only American band, while the others were from United Kingdom. U2 (Ireland) and The Alarm (Wales).
After my mom passed, I found an old woodcut carving my mom made for me (back in 1990) for The Call’s Red Moon album. On the back, she inscribed “Follow your dreams to heaven, love Mom” – how did my mom know? I had the guys in the band sign it for me. It’s now on display in my house.
Working with The Call has been a 40 year time trip experience for me from first stumbling upon their album, Reconciled, which I consider one of the landmark Americana albums from 1980s. Follow your dreams, y’all.
I didn’t take any international trips last year. I did get to Las Vegas twice to see U2 at the Sphere. The first time, in October, I went with Dan Russell, who used to tour manage U2, which made it all the more special.
Before the concert started, Bono’s assistant came over and asked Dan if his VIP seats were “satisfactory” as “Bono wanted to make sure he was happy” – I fell out of my chair howling in laughter. What a night!
The second time, I went with Jenny in December. Both concerts were amazing. Arguably, U2 was better the second time a couple months later as they had fine tuned the show a bit more, too. A concert going experience of a lifetime – and the larger than life visuals at the Sphere made it incredible. U2 has some great videos with drones from The Sphere.
I know my older brother, Taylor, would have loved it. He was a huge U2 fan and he introduced me to their music back way back when (The Unforgettable Fire). I remember Taylor telling me in 1984 (think about that – that was before Joshua Tree made them really famous) that U2 was going to be the “biggest band” in the world. It was something I’d never forget. Because it was like so prophetic and strange for a 15 year old to say. Like my mom, how did Taylor know? So many things in my life have been like that.
Now, here I am in 2024. I’m exhausted and weary. Poor me.
I’ve become a bit bitter, too. I can only hope I can repair myself in due time, which I usually do through travel to places that renew my spirit. Therapy doesn’t do sh*t for me.
Life is not the same anymore.
I was thinking back to a story I wanted to document during my mom’s final days in hospice. During my mom’s hospice in the hospital, a RN nurse was assigned to my mom and her name was “Angel” who was taking care of my mom bedside. I’m not making this story up – her name was Angel, like for real. She showed up in the darkest time during my mom’s final moments and showed me the way. When I told Angel my plight and all I’d been through in the last years, which was rough as hell, she shared her own experience with her mom passing and she said to me the following (I made notes as it was so otherworldly):
“You’re the light. You showed up. This matters in the end. You did all you could. You didn’t phone it in. You helped her transition to the other side. In time, it will matter what you did here will matter. And what you gave up to be here. You’re paying her back for giving you birth. I see it in you. Your mom knows. You’re strong. I see it in your eyes. You’re the giver of light.”
God bless that woman for being able to put into words something so meaningful during my darkest days.
Luke turned #10 last month. He said funniest thing to me last week:
Luke: Daddy, Lego makes a Starry Night kit that I want.
Dad: Do you know who painted Starry Night, Luke?
Luke: Bob Ross.
I fell out of my chair howling in laughter. Yes, Luke, Bob Ross!
I need inspired. Travel is what inspires me. Like going to places in this NY Times article.
